7 sexual hygiene tips for better, dirtier sex
In honor of annual World Sexual Health Day (September 4), the American Sexual Health Association (ASHA) dubs all of September as Sexual Health Month each year. While there are endless factors involved in the upkeep of sexual health—goddess knows that a harmonious body, heart and mind help to make sex a positive experience—straight-up sexual hygiene doesn’t get discussed as often as it should. And why not? It plays a significant role in sexual health. If you’ve ever had sex with someone who ate Cheetos beforehand and didn’t wash their hands, you know what I’m talking about.
Sex can be messy, and it’s supposed to be. But while everyone has their own opinions about sexual hygiene, there are fundamentals that should apply to everyone. Definitions of sexual hygiene expand into a lot of different areas which encompass what we do before, during, and after sex. Let’s face it: a little extra care and attention can go a long way toward helping your partner experience pleasure and even get off—and it’ll be better for you too. And if you need to have a discussion with your partner about hygiene, hopefully this article will help you do just that.
With that in mind, I offer you 7 tips for keeping your sex life hygienic and healthy, no matter how down-low and dirty it happens to get!
1. Cultivate strong communication
Quality communication between sexual partners is a big part of sexual hygiene. While it may seem awkward at first, talking about STIs and sexual health issues from the beginning can make a big difference as you progress with a given partner. Ideally, use protection (i.e. condoms!!!) until you can both get tested and clarify your exclusivity level. Even if you’re not at the point of having such discussions, using proper protection is a step in the right direction. You can even go one further and check each other for signs of infections or other irregularities (this can be an erotic act, believe it or not). Strong and honest communication with a doctor is also important, so get routine check-ups, and be open and honest about your sexual history and concerns when you do.
2. Shower before and after sex
If circumstances allow you to shower before sex, do it. Better yet, shower with your partner to boost the intimacy level even more. And know this: pretty much everyone has some kind of odor going on down there—that’s normal and can’t typically be washed away. But if you shower once a day and after sweaty activities, you should be A-okay. Unscented soap and water is all you need, although soap is a questionable choice for the vulva and vagina, as the vagina cleans itself naturally and harsh or scented products can screw with your pH. Bonus tip: bring your toothbrush into the shower with you. If you can’t take a shower before sex, using hygienic wipes instead isn't a bad idea—but always clean front to back to avoid bringing harmful bacteria from the rectum to the vagina. While cleaning up before sex ensures a sexier experience for all involved, cleaning up afterwards is important too, in order to prevent infections. Lube, and bacteria from the fingers, mouth, and rectum can increase your chances of developing a yeast or bacterial infection, so it’s best to rinse them all away. Men should follow similar hygienic rituals as women and be sure to wash their penis with an unscented soap to avoid passing unwelcome bacteria into the vagina.
3. …or at least wash your hands
Maybe showering is not an option, or maybe you showered recently enough that it’s not necessary. Or maybe you’re both getting caught up in the heat of the moment and a shower is the furthest thing from your dirty minds. I get it. It’s hard to interrupt such things. But at least take the time to wash your hands—both of you. Even if you didn’t just cut hot peppers or eat Cheetos, you probably touched your bacteria-encrusted cellphone, and goddess knows what else. Just do it—with soap and water—and thank me later when you don’t get a yeast infection from your partner’s fingers. Clean under your nails too, and trim them if they’re sharp. If your partner is inadvertently stabbing your vagina with his fingernails, this is a talk you 100% need to have.
4. Always pee after sex
If you’re susceptible to UTIs, you’ve probably hear it before: always pee right after sex. Why? Because any type of sexual contact can push bacteria up into your urethra and increase your chances of developing an infection. But—if you pee right away afterwards, you'll flush it all out and prevent this from happening. Even if you don’t feel you have to go, sit there at least until you get a trickle. Then drink a pint of water so you can go again soon after. Staying well-hydrated helps! Peeing after sex is less important for men because they have longer urethras which means bacteria from their penis is less likely to reach their bladder. But it can’t hurt!
5. Avoid cross-contamination like the plague
Many of us watch mainstream porn and think we know a thing or two about real-life sex. This is a mistake, and cross-contamination is the perfect reason why. Although many a musclebound onscreen porn star with a giant cock may appear to be moving seamlessly between a gal’s anus and her pussy, chances are they’re either a) not showing the part where they stop to wash his cock between takes, or b) they’re unhygienic and are endangering the health of their actresses. Fact: the bacteria in the rectum can easily be transferred to the vagina, so it’s prudent to keep ‘em separated to prevent any nasty infections from taking hold. I’m not just talking about the penis, either. If anything, be it a penis, fingers, mouth, or a toy has been in your ass, it needs to be washed with soap and water before going into your vagina. It’s not about the rectum being dirty per se—it’s just home to different bacteria than your vagina—and mixing them can upset your delicate balance, leading to, you guessed it, infection.
6. Pubic hair: you don’t have to go bare
Getting it all waxed or shaved off may seem normal to you, and you’re right, it’s very common. Many men do it too these days. Yet this wasn’t the case just a couple of decades ago. But while some trimming according to personal preference is pretty harmless, you might want to consider letting it grow out a bit if you suffer from chronic yeast or bacterial infections. Why? Because contrary to the belief that pubic hair is unhygienic, it can lessen friction during sex and prevent the transmission of bacteria and other pathogens. Not to mention, it also happens to diffuse pheromones, those magic chemicals that make you appear attractive to potential mates.
7. Keep your sex toys squeaky clean
Sex toys of all kinds can do wonders for you sex life. However, it’s important to care for them properly if you don’t want to land yourself with an infection. Don't share toys; avoid using an anal toy for your vagina; wash them thoroughly and with the proper products; and store them in a protective bag or case. Whether you’re using a sex toy with a partner or by yourself, it’s crucial that you clean them before and after every use.
Bottom line: whether you're in a committed relationship or tramping it up every night (power to you), it's important to be aware of the kinds of hygienic mistakes you or your partner(s) could be making when it comes to sex. The next step, of course, is not being afraid to talk about it. After all, the more proactive you are with your sexual health, the better you'll feel and the better the sex will be. Trust me on this: my man respects the shit out of me if I have to remind him to wash his hands. And the sex is fantastic.
<3 Clean ’n nasty sex for all y’all.
