Kink

Kink, or kinkiness, is a colloquial umbrella term that includes any alternative or non-normative fantasies, practices, and relationships as a means to pursue pleasure or heighten intimacy. One can engage in kink activity consensually with partners or alone, as in the case of solo kink. A person who typically engages in kink exploration is sometimes called a kinkster.

Though kink practices are not inherently sexual, kinkiness tends to hold a sexual connotation and often overlaps with BDSM, both of which challenge and surpass what is considered normative or conventional sex. There is no universal or clinical definition of kink. It is subjective to the individual’s notion of what constitutes normal or typical. The opposite of kinky is vanilla, which is the stereotypical view of conventional sex and lifestyles.

Kink and BDSM

Kink and BDSM often overlap as terms and concepts. BDSM relates to alternative sexual and pleasure practices between consenting adults, which can include the enjoyment of restraint, pain, humiliation, and exaggerated power dynamics. 

BDSM is kinky by nature, but not all kinksters participate in typical BDSM activities.

Kink versus Fetish

Kink and fetish often overlap, however they are not fully synonymous.

Kink describes non-conventional activities and desires, while a fetish is a sexual fixation on specific objects, activities, or situations. Kink is not inherently sexual. This means that all fetishes could be considered a kink but not all kinks are fetishes. Furthermore, kink is often the conscious engagement in certain kinds of play or relationships in order to derive pleasure, whereas a fetish is inherent to how one derives sexual arousal or satisfaction. 

Kink and Sexual Disorder

Due to a holdover from past medical perceptions of what constitutes healthy sexual behavior, kink is sometimes incorrectly conflated with sexual perversion or deviancy, or considered pathology that develops in response to trauma. When referring to healthy expressions of one’s sexual proclivities and behaviors, it is more commonly referred to as a fetish or kink.

While some of these can overlap in some people, there is no direct causational relationship between trauma and adults participating in healthy, consensual kink activities. Kink exploration has been known to enhance pleasure, heighten intimacy between partners, increase body confidence, and help affirm one’s gender and sexuality.

A paraphilia is a sexual urge or behavior characterized by its intensity, persistence, and recurrence. These attractions and impulses are directed towards activities, situations, and objects that are considered atypical or abnormal. In current vernacular, paraphilia is used more often to describe a form of sexual disorder, where the fetish-related behaviors are negatively affecting the individual expressing them or the people around them.