Rimming

With countless nerve endings located at its opening, the anus is a highly sensitive erogenous zone. People enjoy rimming, also known as a rim job, or analingus, because of the deep pleasure it can excite among consenting partners.

What is rimming?

Rimming is the act of using your tongue to orally stimulate a partner's anus for sexual pleasure. It might involve licking, sucking, kissing, and any other pleasurable act that involves oral-to-anal contact. 

Rimming can be an intimate and pleasurable standalone sexual act, but may also be the perfect foreplay to anal sex, as the warm, wet sensations help the body to relax, priming the anus to receive a finger, toy, or penis.

Is rimming safe?

Rimming is typically quite safe. But like other sexual acts, there is some risk involved. Consider the following health and safety tips:

- Practice good hygiene. It’s important for the recipient to shower, cleaning the external anus with warm water and soap when preparing for rimming. If you want to be extra careful, you might also clean just inside the anus, as some people enjoy penetrating with their tongues as well. Practicing good hygiene helps to prevent the spread of harmful digestive bacteria and parasites that pass through the anus, such as E. coli and Salmonella. Being extra clean can also help mitigate the ‘grossness' factor commonly associated with fecal matter.

- Avoid cross-contamination. It’s important to avoid the cross-contamination of bacteria from the anus to the vagina via the tongue, fingers, sex toys, or a penis, because this can cause a range of vaginal infections, including yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis, and UTIs. 

- Practice safe sex. Safe sex is important no matter what type of sexual act you’re performing. Contrary to popular belief, it is possible to transmit certain STIs via oral sex, rimming included. These include: herpes, genital warts, gonorrhea, syphilis, and hepatitis A and B. If you and your partner have yet to be tested for STIs, or you’re non-exclusive, or you simply want to be extra cautious, you might consider using a dental dam or a tongue condom to protect against STIs and bacteria alike.

Is an enema a good idea?

If you don’t want to do an enema, there is no reason to feel like you need to in order to be the recipient of a rim job. If you empty your bowels and clean your anus thoroughly, that should be enough. 

If, however, enemas turn you on, or you want to try it out, or you're constipated, you might consider a water enema to help initiate a bowel movement. An enema can clear your anal cavity of feces and bacteria, ultimately helping you feel more confident, which can, in turn, make rimming more fun. 

On the downside, some people find enemas uncomfortable. If you choose to do one, it's important to do it safely and properly to avoid the risk of tears and infection. Also: it's not advisable to do enemas too frequently, as they can disrupt your regular poop cycle. 

When to skip rimming

As profoundly pleasurable as rimming can be, there may be times when avoiding anal play altogether is best. 

If you or your partner is dealing with gas, diarrhea, constipation, bleeding, open sores, hemorrhoids, digestive infections, or cold sores, to name a few, it may be advisable to return to rimming another time. 

Although it can feel difficult or embarrassing to communicate about such things, being honest and open with your partner is the best way to ensure you both enjoy whatever kind of sex you choose to have. It should always be a joint decision.

Best rimming positions

Some variation of a doggie style position may be the most obvious choice for some. The recipient kneels on all fours while the giver kneels behind them, using their hands to guide their partner’s ass to the proper height and spread their cheeks.

Others prefer the recipient on their back with their hips propped up on a wedge or a ramp, AKA a sex cushion, and their knees pulled toward their chest. In this scenario, the giver kneels between their thighs.

The recipient might also bend over a table, chair, or bed, or stand and bend at the waist while holding onto their ankles, while the giver kneels or crouches behind them. 

As with all sexual acts, you should feel free to experiment and find the position(s) that work best for you and your partner.

Rimming techniques to try

Whether you're new to rimming or not, here are a few tips that may help you to better pleasure your partner. 

- Begin slowly, softly licking and kissing your partner’s erogenous zones and areas surrounding the anus—such as the inner thighs and the perineum, AKA the area between the vulva or scrotum and the anus.

- When you’re ready to move on to the anus, you might try long, slow licks with your tongue flat against your partner’s anus. Don’t be afraid to experiment, switching back and forth between firming and relaxing your tongue, or between up and down and side to side movements. You might even point your tongue, using enough pressure to gently penetrate your partner's anus.

- While pleasuring your partner with your tongue, you might also use your hands to gently squeeze or tug on your partner’s nipples, rub their clitoris, penetrate their vagina with your fingers or a toy, stroke their penis, or caress their scrotum—as the case may be. You might also spank their ass. No matter what you do, always ensure there is mutual consent and pleasure.

When conducted with mutual respect, consent and arousal always at the forefront, rimming can be a thrilling sexual act very much worth adding to your repertoire. If you practice good hygiene, safe sex, and keep the lines of communication open and honest, it’s hard to go wrong.