How the seasons affect your sex life

If you’re sexually active—or have at some point been sexually active—and if you’re someone who reflects semi-regularly on sex and sexual desire, chances are you’ve noticed that there are about a zillion different factors that can affect your sex life, your sex drive, and your overall experience of arousal. Whether it’s anxiety, bad relationships, antidepressants, or good ol’ Covid, your libido is about as sensitive to shifts as your menstrual cycle is, which, incidentally, also affects your sex drive.

But what of the cyclical seasons? Has it ever occurred to you that the temperature, the weather patterns, and the changes in fashion choices accessible to you at different times of year might have a lock on the way you experience the erotic world? Even if you’ve never experienced seasonal depression, it’s entirely possible that the major dip in desire you experience at certain times of year can be attributed to the whims of that minxy maven, Mother Nature. 

Let’s break this down further, shall we?

Winter

While there are certainly arguments to be made that winter is the sexiest season of them all, facts are facts: we’re not all aroused by sweater weather. Some of us get dry flakey skin, and we can’t breathe super well without a humidifier in our bedroom. And hey, not all of us like to ski. We’d rather hide from the cold by huddling up to the radiator with a good book. True story. Some of us find the cold downright stressful, to the point that getting naked contributes to that stress. To add a further twist to the plot, as the days grow shorter, about 5% of us will experience a form of depression known as seasonal affective disorder, or SAD. Reduced exposure to sunlight can reduce your vitamin D and serotonin levels, which makes you less likely to want sex. Under such circumstances, it can be extra difficult to inhabit one’s sensual body. You heard it here first.

If you experience a lull in your sex drive during the winter months, despair not. Just because you or your partner’s sex drive might not be at its highest when it’s cold outside, that doesn’t mean there isn’t space for intimacy. After all, love it or hate it, they don’t call it cuffing season for nothing. As luck would have it, winter happens to be a great time for cozy cuddling, steamy shower or bathtub lovin’, or sex that’s physical close and/or emotionally intimate, and maybe even some temperature play for the winter thrill-seekers among us. Hell, you may even want to bring in some extra body heat by having a threesome. More of a lone wolf? You might try channeling the warmth of some tantric self-love. If you need more help to feel baseline ok, consider a UV lamp and/or a quality vitamin D supplement.

Spring

Especially for those of us that live in climates where our eyebrows are prone to freeze if we go for a short stroll, spring is a time of revival, renewal, rebirth, and rekindling. There’s a reason that spring is viewed as “mating season,” after all. A marked lack of chill in the air can bring with it a marked tingle of sensation in one’s nether regions. Indeed, spring and increased horniness often go hand-in-hand. You’re shrugging off those extra layers, and so is everyone else—and it’s pretty sexy. As people show more skin, and get more sunlight (read: vitamin D), and slowly start to have more energy, they’re suddenly ready to take more risks, explore, play, and get creative. It’s sorta kinda exciting.

If you experience an increase in randiness when spring hits, you’re in good company, baby. You might embrace the spirit of play by bringing humor into sex, trying something new (i.e. butt plugs or pegging), or even attempting sex in the great outdoors—with important precautions, always. All in all, spring is a lovely time to invite your inner exhibitionist to take the reins. 

Summer

From legendary hot girl summers with the besties to summer date nights with your delicious SO, summer has a reputation for sexiness, and how could it not? From sundresses, to short shorts, to sweet sweet ice cream, the hot season brings with it a natural tendency to shed old weight (read: all unnecessary clothing), expose one’s skin to the sun’s rays, and adopt the closest thing to a devil-may-care attitude that you personally can handle. It’s a time to socialize, do things outside of the home compound, and relax those once-tense muscles into a soft blanket on the grass, or hot sand on a beach. And since all bodies are bikini bodies, eye candy is everywhere. This being said, no matter how high your sex drive is, it can sometimes be too hot or humid outside, which can make it challenging to get in the mood. And climate change doesn’t help.

If summer finds you horny and in heat, this is the time for exploration, hot AF vacation sex, daring AF beach sex, and an overall surrender to the titillating pheromonal effects of sun and sweat. Summer welcomes us to succumb to our inner fire—our desire to adventure. Consider trying a new sex game, or exploring some kinky bondage, roleplay or power play. If it’s too damn hot, you might up your oral sex game to minimize bodily contact—and there’s also always cold shower sex. Yum.

Fall

Those who love fall the best do so passionately, and argue that the autumnal season is 100% the sexiest of all.  While it’s true that the freedom of summer schedules is starting to recede, and work/school/reality tend to take over around this time (which for some, can lead to a decline of sex drives as life gets busier and more disciplined), for those who find summer sex too hot and winter too cold, autumn leaves in the crisp air have a lot to recommend them. Additionally, there is research to show that humans’ sex drives are at their highest in the fall. Much like other animals, humans are seasonal breeders (sometimes anyway), and as it turns out, male and female testosterone levels are highest in the fall, which translates to a higher libido. 

Holding space for a regular masturbation practice once fall routines hit is a great way to keep yourself from falling (pun intended) into an autumn rut characterized by lack of fun. After all, an orgasm a day helps to lower stress, increase your body image, and can even help you sleep better. And since fall often brings a renewed sense of discipline to life, why not explore a bit of discipline/domination in the bedroom? This (not) just in: if it’s your jam, being sexually submissive does not make you a bad feminist. With the right partner, fall is a magically supercharged time to explore the world of BDSM—with sexy costumes, no less!

Maybe you’re reading all this and relating to every word, and maybe you're like, WTF, this is so not me. Either way, it never hurts to understand the behind-the-seasons powers at work on your sex life—or that of a partner/lover. May it inspire desire all year round. <3