Ultimate guide to sex positions: Butterfly

Let’s talk about sex…positions.

Whether you’re just starting out with a new partner or looking to heat things up in a longterm committed relationship, this guide is for you. 

Next up, we have the ever-versatile Butterfly position.

Butterfly:

Dubbed “The Blossoming Position” in the Kama Sutra, the Butterfly position is perfect for anyone who has had their share of the missionary position and is on the lookout for something on par—but steamier. In a nutshell, the Butterfly position is sorta kinda like missionary, except one partner stands at the edge of the bed (or couch, or table). And there are ample sexy variations to explore.

The Butterfly is a fantastic position to try if you're looking to breathe some life into your sexplorations—or you're simply looking for a position that will facilitate having sex in a different room.

You also don’t need to be an endurance athlete or super flexible to do the Butterfly, making it accessible to many. Not to mention, with a little creativity (i.e., toys), it can easily work for all genders.

A note on terms:

When discussing penetration, we use the terms “thrusting partner” for the person with the penis (biological or synthetic), and “receiving partner” for the person accepting the act of penetration (vaginal or anal).

It is important to note that being a receiver is not a passive, subservient role. It is an active, enthusiastic role. There is power in choice, and by choosing to invite their partner inside them, the receiver is exercising that power.

Furthermore, the thrusting partner is not just a giver. Of course, they also receive pleasure during the act. But for the sake of clarity and consistency, we have selected these terms for the two sides of the dynamic.

How to do it:

The receiving partner lays on their back on the bed (or the furniture of choice), with their butt at the very edge. The thrusting partner stands upright between the receiving partner’s legs, at the edge of the bed, so that their penis or dildo can easily enter their partner's vagina or anus. 

The receiving partner then puts their legs straight up in a vertical V-shape, resting their calves or ankles (depending on their height) on the thrusting partner's shoulders. The thrusting partner does most of the work, so to speak; the receiving partner can move their hips as they please! They can also move their legs for comfort and stimulation as desired.

Reasons we love it:

- It allows for extra deep penetration, which can feel divine for both partners, facilitating cervical or A-Spot orgasms if the receiving partner has a vagina.

- Same-sex couples can accomplish this position with the use of dildos, strap-ons, and/or a willingness to explore anal.

- Just because deep penetration is possible doesn’t mean it’s obligatory. The receiving partner can communicate what they need and the thrusting partner can fulfill their requests.

- It isn't hard on either partner's body, since neither is carrying the other’s weight.

- A receiving partner with a clitoris can easily enjoy some added fingering in this position.

Variations to try out:

Many positions very similar to the Butterfly are known by a slew of creative and amusing names. As always, it’s best to try these slight adjustments on for size to find out which option(s) work best for you and your partner. Remember, what feels damn good on Monday may not be the same as what feels mind-blowing on Friday. And seemingly slight changes can make a world of difference. Explore.

Legs on one shoulder

The receiving partner rests both legs on one shoulder of the thrusting partner. This creates a tighter fit for penetration, and can serve to amp up the excitement for the thrusting partner (and maybe the receiving partner, depending what they like!).

Crisscross

The receiving partner crosses one leg over the other at the shins, resting the left ankle on the thrusting partner’s left shoulder and their right ankle on their right shoulder. This creates a smaller insertion point for penetration, but not as tight as placing both legs on one shoulder, so the sensation is different.

Anvil

The thrusting partner leans forward into their partner’s legs, pushing the backs of their thighs backward toward their head, or toward either side of their head. This requires more hip mobility in the receiving partner.

Viennese oyster

The thrusting partner pushes the receiving partner’s legs straight back toward their head, eventually touching their toes to the surface they’re lying on. This position requires the receiving partner to have a lot more flexibility and should be discussed as well as attempted with care.

Praying mantis

The thrusting partner kneels (on the bed, for instance) rather than standing, while the receiving partner leans one ankle on their shoulder, and places their other leg out to the side. This angle lends itself to g-spot stimulation and gives the receiving partner more control so they can grind their way to climax. 

Launchpad

The receiving partner squeezes their legs together, bends their knees up toward their chest, and rests their heels on their partner’s chest—as though they’re about to lift off.

Other tips & tricks:

- Prop pillows or a cushion under the receiving partner's hips to help hit that perfect angle (hello g-spot)—or to simply avoid the unnecessary discomfort that comes with being in a less than optimal position!

- Never hesitate to keep adjusting the angles of penetration until you find one that works for you and your partner. There’s no point in doing something that doesn’t work—speaking of which, clear communication is hot AF.

- Integrate a vibrator for mo’ better pleasure. If the receiving partner has a vulva, they might use a vibrator on their clit during sex. 

- It should go without saying, but if you’re exploring sex in a new room, make extra sure that the piece of furniture you use for your naughtily nefarious purposes is stable, sturdy, and comfortable to boot.