How to masturbate: a rough 'n dirty guide to self-pleasure
Once upon a time, every time you masturbated, god killed a kitten. What a terrible deterrent to partaking in the most accessible form of pleasure known to humankind! Although this perplexing myth was very clearly a joke, it's funny precisely because it's based on real sex-shame.
But while it's true that our past is marred with all manner of shame-fueled cock-blocking (we all have cocks, regardless of gender), the good news is this: there have never been more good reasons to get off. Don't believe me? Watch the news and tell me you don't need a li'l surge of oxytocin to move through the pain and get on with your day. And there have also never been more beautiful toys out there to satisfy our nefarious purposes, especially for those of us with vaginas.
But how to start? Where does one begin? There are no stupid questions, friend.
How to masturbate
First things first, right? Whether you're a many-seasoned maven of masturbation, or a newbie explorer looking for your next hot fix (or your first!), you might just learn something here. While it might seem pretty self-evident how to masturbate, it never hurts to have a few go-to techniques to draw from, and to play around with. After all, most worthwhile discovery starts with thorough sexploration.
Here we offer you a few helpful-as-heaven tips for getting yours as needed.
1. Use your hands
So let's get back to basics, shall we? Take a look at your hands. They do so much for you, so many tasks you take for granted on the regular. So how might you use your deviant digits to move yourself to magic? If you've only ever used toys, it can be really great to explore the simple use of your hands every now and then, as a way of always discovering new subtlety. Plus, variety is the spice of life, as they say. So—get comfy, settle in, and dare to touch yourself, skin-to-skin.
A couple of hawt AF tips:
- The clit is lit, and it.
For people with vulvas, clitoral stimulation tends to feels really good, and might be the easiest way to achieve orgasm. In fact, studies show that nearly every clit owner requires some sort external stimulation.
Starting with one or two fingers, begin to gently and slowly stroke your clitoris. Everyone is different, and our clits are ultra-sensitive (hallelujah), so experiment to find the level of pressure and the right pace for you. As you explore, you'll fall into a natural rhythm. Try out different ways of touching yourself to find what feels good: rubbing; tapping; gently slapping or pinching; circling with your fingers; and using the heel of your palm to press yourself firmly are all worth trying. And remember, don't exclude your labia from the party—all your parts are deeply connected and invested in your primordial pleasure.
- Penetration isn't all, but it can be a ball.
Vaginal penetration isn't the gold standard of pleasure, as many would have us believe, but it can also feel ridiculously good, if it's something you're interested in.
Start by locating your G-spot, another potential pleasure center to dive into. To find it, insert one or two fingers into your vaginal opening and hook them upwards towards your navel, making a sort of tickling, 'come hither' motion with your fingers to rub that spot. It’s located just behind your pubic bone. Explore the entire area internally, baby. Try different pressures and motions to find what feels amazing. Go far enough and you may even stumble upon your A-spot. Hot tip: combine clitoral and vaginal stimulation for a next-level blended orgasm.
If anal is your jam, you might even start to explore your backdoor with your very own hands (one finger first, and generous lube!).
2. Play with toys
Whether it's a straight-up dildo, a clit vibe, a cutting edge g-spot vibe, a butt plug, or any of the other endless possibilities in sexual pleasure today, lack of choice is certainly not a problem when you get tired of exploring with your hands.
For your special consideration:
- Bellesa Pebble
The Pebble has rendered orgasms simpler and more accessible than ever. It offers the best in suction and vibe technology, and is ergonomic to boot, allowing you to align your index finger with the length of the toy. Really, the Pebble feels more like a natural extension of your luscious body.
- G-Thump
In a nutshell, the G-Thump is a dual stimulation toe-curling rabbit vibe (hello blended orgasms) that has joined the list of Bellesa toys most likely to make you squirt until you're shaking.
Remember: there's a toy for every occasion and mood, and you always deserve new toys!
3. Try new positions
Have you ever wondered whether the position you’re masturbating in influences the type and intensity of your orgasm? Some people can't cum unless their legs are open wide, while others may need to stand on one leg. You heard it here first. And sometimes, switching things up a bit means discovering whole new sensual worlds you'd never before imagined. Masturbation should be a creative act.
For your able inspiration:
- Doggy
Position yourself on your hands and knees. Then, use one hand or a toy to reach around and stimulate your clit and vulva until your mind is adequately blown. Doggy-style also happens to offer stellar access for anal play. Indulge in fantasies as needed.
- Cowgirl
Take to your knees. Rock back and forth, dry humping (or indeed, grinding) either your hand or a pillow or toy with your vulva. You might roll your hips. This position is perfect for stimulating the clitoral hood and labia.
- Squat
If you feel at ease relying on the strength in your gams, pleasuring yourself in a squat is a too-real way to open up for that deep penetration. If bouncing up and down is your thing, add a suction-cup dildo to the equation. Not in the mood for penetration? Go for a quality vibrator, or bring yourself to the brink with your hand.
Bottom line: masturbation is everyone's game, and it's a form of pleasure, a shade of self-love, and a resource for mental health all at once. You can do it where, when, and how you please (with some minor caveats, of course). So get it. Do you.
Bonus tip: once you're in your chosen position, and you're ready to go with your toy of choice or your ever-capable hand, allow yourself to fantasize freely, fluently, fluidly. In case you missed the memo, the brain is the most powerful agent of pleasure and climax we have, more than any other part of the body. So let go and indulge, even if it's kinda taboo. Even if fucking three guys in the back of a van isn't something you'd enjoy IRL, your body might feel differently when safe, controllable touch and your deliciously creative brain are involved.
Happy adventuring, wild ones. <3