6 ways to celebrate Valentine's day if you're on your own this year

Whether you’re socially distanced from your partner thanks to lockdown measures, newly single,  or seemingly forever single, Valentine’s Day during a global pandemic may seem a little (or a lot) harsh. But just because you don’t currently have an SO to commemorate the occasion with, and going out to meet someone new is hardly an option right now, there’s nothing preventing you from enjoying the day anyway. There are many ways to show yourself love, and V-Day’s as good a day as any to explore them with the same care and attention you would for a lover or a partner. After all, self-love is the stuff that enables us to love others better. A little bird told me that.

I offer you the following 6 tips for navigating the day of love as a solo flyer in 2021.

1. Remember that everyday is (self)-love day.

Ok, maybe you don’t quite want to hear it right now, but deep down, you know it’s true: V-Day may be fun at times, but ultimately, it’s a marketing ploy to sell chocolate and Hallmark cards. Is this a bitter outlook? Not really. On the contrary, it’s actually quite sweet, because what it really means is that everyday should be a celebration of love in all its forms, and V-Day can sometimes distract from this truth by concentrating one’s expressions of love, affection, and appreciation in one day. So let that be a starting point.

2. Treat yo self.

Heed the undying lessons of Tom and Donna, and treat yo self. Chances are, you neglect acts of self-appreciation. Most of us do. This can, of course, take many forms, depending how you happen to feel, and what you happen to need. Listen to your heart on this one. While retail therapy has its limits—can’t buy me love, nam sayin’?—buying yourself a gift can still be an amazing act of love. Whether it’s that impractical new dress you’ve wanted forever or that dope shag rug for your home office, make it something that’s gonna make you feel loved by you.

3. Pamper yourself

When people talk about self-care, they usually mean, “Do the things you need to do to feel taken care of.” Maybe a candlelit bath infused with rose petals and essential oils is how you’re most apt to feel like a queen. Maybe cooking yourself your favorite dish from scratch and savoring every bite is what your heart needs. Maybe you need some purely creative time to write, draw, paint, or sculpt—sometimes new modes of expression are total therapy. Maybe you really just need a romcom marathon and a sobfest, and there’s zero shame in that. Pay no heed to the many narratives of what you should or should not want on V-Day. Like all days, this day is yours!

4. Have a Galentine’s Day party

If you’d rather be alone or are sick to hell of Zoom, skip this one, but if you’ve had a bubble bath and wouldn’t mind a little company to top it all off, consider scheduling a virtual G-Day party with a few of your closest gal pals. You might enjoy that romcom marathon together, compare bad date stories over a couple glasses of wine, eat dinner together apart, or show off your sexiest lingerie just for the hell of it. Friends are among the most intimate relationships in our lives—never forget that.

5. Reach out to a (potential) love interest

Maybe you’ve been chatting with someone on OKC or Tinder and you’re quite fond of them, even if the two of you haven’t gone farther than Zoom chatting or distanced outdoor walks (it’s a tough time for new love, ain’t no one denying that!) Why not take a leap of faith and make this a V-Day to remember (odd as it may seem), by simply making contact of some kind. A spark is a spark, after all. Maybe a good old-fashioned phone call is just what the love doctor ordered, or maybe you’re down for another video date, but with fewer clothes this time. Or maybe you have a profound, erotically charged written correspondence going on and want to keep building on that. Whatever it may be, feel free to explore.

6. Sex yourself up right

Maybe now’s the time to buy a new sex toy, and spend a solo steam sesh pleasuring yourself into endorphin-induced oblivion. Or, maybe you’re ready to dig a little deeper and try exploring slow, self-loving tantric masturbation. However you choose to love up yourself, make it an indulgent answer to any or all of the following sensual prompts: What does my body need? What does my heart desire? What is my deepest craving? Where is my hidden volcano? Where does my wild side hide?

Bottom line: Valentine’s Day 2021 is only gonna happen once. If you’re not currently enmeshed in a romance, but something in you wants to honor love, know that there are endless ways to do just that—the above ideas are meant to inspire, get the juices flowin’. I empower you to get crazy, get creative, and above all, be sure your chosen celebration is rooted in self-love. <3