The Ultimate Guide to Sex Positions: Cowgirl
Let’s talk about sex positions.
Whether you’re starting out with a new partner or looking to spice things up with an old flame, this series of guides is for you.
Next up, we have one of the most notorious positions in town: Cowgirl.
Cowgirl:
A sex position in which the thrusting partner lies on their back, while the receiving partner straddles and mounts them to ride to their heart’s content.
For this reason, we prefer the more everyone-friendly “Rider” position.
The Rider ranks as one of the most commonly practiced penetrative sex positions, but it’s a divisive one. For some receivers, they feel incredibly empowered coming out on top. They love the sense of control and authority they get from riding their partner at whatever pace they please. And they love watching how they influence their partner’s pleasure from that point of view.
For others, it’s the bane of their sexual existence. They find it ineffective for how they experience pleasure in their bodies, or downright exhausting -- because it can be quite the workout! They don’t feel sexy because they’re working too hard to endure the act rather than enjoy it.
No shame either way but love it or hate it, the Rider position isn’t going anywhere. So let’s take a look at just how much there is to love about it.
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A note on terms:
When discussing penetration, we use the terms “thrusting partner” for the person with the penis (biological or synthetic), and “receiving partner” for the person accepting the act of penetration (vaginal or anal). In this piece, the receiver is also referred to as “the rider” for reasons that should be obvious.
It is important to note that being a receiver is not a passive, subservient role. It is an active, enthusiastic role. There is power in choice, and by choosing to invite their partner inside them, the receiver is exercising that power.
Furthermore, the thrusting partner is not just a giver. Of course, they also receive pleasure during the act. But for the sake of clarity and consistency, we have selected these terms for the two sides of the dynamic.
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How to do it:
Typically, the thrusting partner lies flat on their back with their legs out straight. The reciever kneels and straddles their partner’s hips.
The receiving partner has a lot more power to set the pace in this position than in others such as traditional missionary, for example. They can decide if it’s going to be more of a stroke or a grind or a mix of movements. Meanwhile, the thrusting partner gets a fantastic view of their lover in full rider form.
While it can be a great workout for the rider, it can be tiring. Since this is still a partner activity, the thruster can still get involved. They can thrust up to meet the rhythm being set. They can also lift and support their partner’s hips so the rider does’t tire as quickly.
And because all the weight is being managed at crotch level, both parties have their hands free to explore each others’ bodies or add in a toy or two for extra stimulation.
Reasons we love it:
- The receiver is in charge
- The thruster has an amazing view of their partner
- Everyone’s hands are free for more caressing
- More hands also mean more opportunity for breast, nipple, or clit play
- Receivers with clits increase their chances of orgasm
- Rider can grind into partner’s public bone for clit stimulation
- Great core and lower body workout for the rider
- Relatively easy to add a vibrator that compliments the fun
- Versatility -- plenty of ways to switch it up!
Variations to try out
Classic Rider
Facing each other, the thrusting partner lies flat on their back while the the receiver straddles their partner’s hips and rides away.
With the thrusting partner’s hands free, they can add clit stimulation with a thumb or well-placed vibe. With rider’s hands free, this is also a great position to help guide their partner to the exact right spot.
Horizontal Rider
Once you’re in the Classic Rider position, the rider gently bows over until chests are touching.
Great for enhancing intimacy with more skin-to-skin contact and deep kissing.
Rise and Grind
Get into the Horizontal Rider position. Instead of long, languid thrusts, the receiver rocks and grinds into their partner’s pubic mound while being stroked from within.
Amazing dual stimulation option for people who enjoy more pressure or grinding clit stimulation.
Deep Squat
The rider squats and plants their feet on either side of their partner’s hips. They’re then free to bounce up and down at their desired pace for a very deep stroke. The thrusting partner can help by supporting or lifting the rider’s hips to reduce muscular strain.
Energetically demanding and a serious power move. Challenge level is high and pay off is higher.
Reverse Rider
The receiver straddles their partner, facing in the direction of the thruster’s feet. This can be a weird angle for some people, so take extra care when getting into this position and go slow until you find your rhythm.
This is great to get a different angle that might hit even better than Classic Rider, depending on your bodies’ preferences. Also the thrusting partner’s view is *chef’s kiss*
Other tips and tricks:
- Have the thrusting partner slide on a vibrating cock ring. Especially if you’ve never used one before, this is a great position to figure out how to make it work for you.
- Position yourselves near a mirror so the rider can see how fucking good they look too.
- Kink it up a notch with some light bondage or blindfolding. Consider handcuffs or rope to tie down your thrusting partner so they can surrender completely to the rider whims. Make sure to set safe words beforehand and play responsibly!
- Put a pillow under the backs of the thrusting partner’s legs. This can reduce any strain on their lower back, as well as change the depth and angle of the thruster’s stroke.
- Penetration doesn’t have to happen. The Rider position and its variations are just awesome for grinding with or without clothes on, teasing, and tribbing (vulva-to-vulva play without penetration)
- Feel free to play! Just because something has worked in the past doesn’t mean you have to do that same thing every time. We encourage you to try something different, even if it’s something as simple as a slightly angle or different speed, or adding a little vibrator to the mix. You never know what you might discover about yourself or your partner when you allow yourselves to play without expectation.
