Demiromantic

Demiromantic is the adjective form of demiromanticism, a romantic orientation on the aromantic spectrum which describes an individual who only experiences romantic feelings towards another person after they have developed a strong emotional connection with that person.

Sexual and romantic orientation are often conflated, therefore causing the lines between the two to blur and often overlap. Sexual orientation indicates the sex or gender of the person someone is most likely to feel sexual attraction or desire towards, while romantic orientation indicates the sex or gender of the person with whom someone is most likely to have a romantic attraction, develop romantic feelings, or pursue a romantic relationship.

Demiromantic people can be of any gender identity, sexual orientation, or romantic orientation. There is no causal relationship between gender identity, sexual orientation, and romantic orientation and whether a person will be demiromantic or not.

Demiromantic and the Aromantic Spectrum

Demiromanticism is on the aromantic spectrum. Individuals on the aromantic spectrum (also referred to as “aro-spec” individuals) feel little to no romantic attraction to anyone, regardless of their gender or sexual orientation. 

Also included on the aromantic spectrum are gray-romantic people (i.e. people who occasionally feel romantic attraction, however rarely). This differs from demiromanticism in that a gray-romantic person’s occasional romantic attractions or feelings are not dependent on a pre-established emotional bond.

Demiromantic versus Demisexual

Demisexuality is on the asexual spectrum, asexuality being a sexual orientation where people experience little to no sexual attraction to others or sexual desire in general. It is possible for someone to be both demiromantic and demisexual, but they are not synonymous nor do they always occur in the same individual.

Unless they are asexual as well, demiromantic individuals can and do feel sexual attraction and desire. Their sexual desires do not hinge on the precursor of a deep emotional connection. It is their romantic feelings that depend on a trusting bond being formed first. These emotional bonds can sometimes take years to develop.

Demiromantic Myths

Demiromanticism does not affect a given individual’s need or desire for physical intimacy. Many demiromantic people enjoy being physically close with others and engaging in physically intimate exchanges like hugging, affectionate touch, and sexual activities, while others do not. Their demiromanticism determines who they ultimately form romantic attractions and relationships with, not their level of physical affection needs.

Unless they are also demisexual, a romantic or emotional connection is not necessarily required to experience sexual desire or connection. Demiromantic people can develop sexual interest in others and enjoy partaking in sexual activity.

Demiromantic Pride Flag

There are a few variations of the pride flag that represents the demiromanticism. The flag features a black triangle on the left paired with horizontal stripes in white, green, and gray. These colors are common to the aromatic flag. 

Alternate versions of the demiromantic flag include a yellow stripe, and another that removes the triangle to have stacked horizontal stripes which run the length of the flag and present as a kind of gradient with dark green at the top, then light green, black in the middle, white, and finally gray at the bottom.