Praise Kink

A praise kink is the tendency to derive sexual pleasure from receiving compliments, praise, and other forms of verbal approval. Praise kinks tend to correlate with being a submissive (in the kink dynamic sense), however they are not mutually exclusive.

It can also refer to a style of kink play that involves the conscious use of words of affirmation, compliments, and commendations in the context of sex or a scene, which are used for the purpose of eliciting a sexual response from someone with a praise kink or as part of a role play. 

Praise kink play can also be referred to as affirmation play or the highly gendered “good girl” kink, for the common use of this phraseology in BDSM and kink dynamics.

The Nuances of a Praise Kink

Having a praise kink differs from experiencing a positive response to receiving verbal approval. The main difference is that the person with a praise kink is sexually aroused by the experience and experiences notable sexual satisfaction from it rather than the typical feelings of warmth, gratitude, or appreciation that tend to come from receiving a compliment, for example.

Praise kinks are highly subjective and contextual. Sex blogger Amy of Coffee and Kink notes that “[while] some people might find it hot whenever anyone gives them praise or a compliment, others find that this desire is specifically directed towards those with whom they have some kind of attraction, sexual relationship, or kink dynamic.”

Having a Praise Kink vs Praise Kink Play

A kink is broadly considered any nonconventional sexual preference, acitivity, or behavior that derives pleasure or sexual enjoyment. Conversely, simply because someone engages in a particular kind of play does not necessarily mean that they experience the full effects of the kink.

In other words, not everyone is sexually aroused when they receive praise. Therefore, when receiving praise does elicit a sexual response, it falls under the category of a kink. If they are dependent on that praise to experience sexual arousal or reach orgasm, it could be considered a praise fetish.

How to Incorporate a Praise Kink

When someone has a genuine praise kink, it can be incorporated into vanilla sex, kink play, or a BDSM scene. When someone with a praise kink has a partner who knows about this tendency, they can use as a form of foreplay or warm up before or a the beginning of a sexual encounter. They can use it as a means to control or enhance their pleasure experience throughout a scene. Or they can use it as a form of aftercare at the end of a scene as they bring the person with the praise kink back down to a state of comfort and safety.

Praise kink play can be incorporated regardless of an underlying praise kink. For example, commendations from a dominant partner when their submissive partner is performing well can be doled out at any point during a scene. It may simply serve the purpose of perpetuating the power dynamics in a role play scenario. This may or may not elicit or enhance the sexual reponses of the people invovled.