Queer

Being “queer” means many things to many people, but the term is most often used to identify as having a gender identity or sexual orientation that is that is not heterosexual or cisgender. In short, it means not identifying with the heterosexual norm or the social construct of a gender binary (i.e, man vs woman). 

Who is Queer?

Since “queer” is such a broad term, it can at times be confusing to determine who it applies to with any real precision. 

To many people, queerness includes a wide range of intersecting identities. Ultimately anyone who identifies as LGBTQIA+ might additionally identify as queer. For instance, people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, asexual, intersex, transgender, or questioning might identify as queer. 

Some people might also use “queer” because their sexuality or gender is complex, evolves over time, or does not fit into existing categories.

The Reclamation of ‘Queer’ as a Slur

Although the term “queer” has been embraced by many in the LGBTQ+ community as a liberating concept, it was originally employed as a derogatory slur for homosexual. 

When it first appeared in the English language circa 1513, “queer” meant something abnormal, peculiar, or odd. The first use of “queer” to refer to homosexuality has been traced back as far as 1894, but The Concise New Partridge Dictionary of Slang, which estimates its use as a descriptor of sexuality closer to 1914, notes it was “derogatory from the outside, not from within,” implying that it was potentially embraced as a self-description by homosexual individuals even back then. In 1965, the Webster’s New World Dictionary listed “queer” as slang for homosexual—not offensive, just slang. Later on, The Dictionary of American Slang wrote, “in the early 1990s queer was adopted as a non-pejorative designation by some homosexuals, in the spirit of ‘gay pride.’” According to the Oxford English Dictionary, this transformation began in the late 1980s in the midst of the gay rights movement and the AIDS epidemic. 

Ultimately, LGBTQ+ communities have reclaimed the word over time and transformed its meaning into a predominantly empowering one. However, since some still find it offensive—particularly when used by people outside of the community to describe people within it—it is always important to make sure that people approve of the term before using it to describe them.

The Queerness Controversy

Since the definition of queer varies depending who you ask, determining who is not queer can be less than straightforward. The term can be divisive in reference to bisexual and heteroflexible people, for instance—even though they do indeed count as queer if they choose to identify that way. 

While typically, someone who is heterosexual, heteroromantic, cisgender, and monogamous wouldn’t be considered queer—there are exceptions. For instance, Amanda Pasciucco, AASECT, utilizes the “+” sign in reference to the queer community as a way of indicating that someone is pangender or pansexual, but members of alternative relationship communities—like polyamory, kink, or ethical non-monogamy—are lumped in there as well.

Critics, however, maintain that a heterosexual person who identifies as queer (even if they’re polyamorous and kinky) is reaping undue benefits of decades of LGBTQ+ activism. The fact remains, however, that the word queer is intentionally imprecise, making different interpretations possible. And the reality is, some heterosexual people within polyamorous and/or kink communities do identify as queer. Ultimately, that convenient “+” can be used to indicate a range of designations which are fluid, non-mainstream, or which simply do not align with standard heteronormative expectations—even if the person it describes is heterosexual.