The Ultimate guide to sex positions: Solo Cowgirl

Let’s talk about sex positions.

Whether you’re starting out with a new partner or looking to spice things up with an old flame, this series of guides is for you. 

Next up, we have the Solo Cowgirl, not to be confused with the partnered Cowgirl, y’hear? While the Cowgirl position is typically associated with partnered sex, it can 100% be adapted for self-pleasure as well.

Solo Cowgirl:

First things first: naturally, there are some similarities between Solo Cowgirl and partnered Cowgirl. The overall idea is the same, but you’re, well, solo rather than with a lover. Solo Cowgirl is all about taking self-pleasure to the next level.

Cowgirl (AKA Rider) is a position in which the thrusting partner lies on their back, while the receiving partner straddles and mounts them—preparing to ride off into the proverbial sunset. To explore Solo Cowgirl, then, is to embody the receiving/straddling partner with the help of toys, pillows, your hands, and/or nothing more than your filthy imagination.

While it might not be obvious how to replicate a ridable, grindable set-up when masturbating, it’s easier than you think, and can be extremely sexually empowering to boot. Not only is Solo Cowgirl ripe with the possibilities of creative fantasizing, but for those who find partnered Cowgirl ineffective or tiring, or who feel self-conscious about being too “on display,” exploring the position alone can be unexpectedly rewarding.

A note on terms:

When discussing penetration, we use the terms “thrusting partner” for the person with the penis (biological or synthetic), and “receiving partner” for the person accepting the act of penetration (vaginal or anal).

Although this piece is about a solo position, there is nonetheless a discussion of the partnered version included, so this note is still relevant.

It is important to note that being a receiver is not a passive, subservient role. It is an active, enthusiastic role. There is power in choice, and by choosing to invite their partner inside them, the receiver is exercising that power.

Furthermore, the thrusting partner is not just a giver. Of course, they also receive pleasure during the act. But for the sake of clarity and consistency, we have selected these terms for the two sides of the dynamic.

How to do it:

To get into position, the Solo Rider kneels on their bed—or on any other surface that is comfortable and safe to kneel on—and they straddle a folded pillow, a special sex cushion, a rolled up towel, their fist, their fingers, their favorite sex toy, and/or whatever they should happen to desire.

Beginners may want to begin by dry humping a pillow, which offers excellent stimulation for the clitoral hood and labia. To try this, you simply let loose and grind your vulva against the lucky pillow.

If you're ready for toys, the Bellesa Luxe Dildo might just be the ideal toy for Solo Rider. It comes in 3 sizes, is perfectly shaped for g-spot stimulation, and the suction cup at its base can be securely attached to your floor or wall—or mirror. And then you have your choice of revolutionary toy mounts, like the Liberator Wanda Toy Mount, or its sister mount, the Tula. Both are designed for use with a wand vibrator, and in the latter case, two toys are better than one, so you can arm your makeshift sex machine with a dildo on top and a wand vibe on the side if you please. It’s a veritable pleasure palace, and you, it’s lone rider, hands free!

Once you have your setup of choice ready, it’s up to you to decide on the motion in your ocean at that particular moment. Maybe it's a stroke, or a grind, or a bounce. Or maybe it’s a mix of movements. You decide, and you set the pace and the rhythm. It's all you, baby, so enjoy exploring any and every sensation that calls you. All you have to do is lower yourself down until you find a sensation you like—either penetration, clitoral, or both.

Reasons we love it:

-Being the most active self-pleasure session you can opt for, it’s a great workout.

-It’s hella empowering because you're in charge of setting the pace as well as if and how you want to reach orgasm. 

-With the right setup, your hands are free to fondle yourself as you please.

-The high level of control coupled with direct clitoral stimulation makes orgasm more likely.

-It's easy to add toys or explore countless creative takes.

Variations to try out:

Reverse Rider

Take it from Missy Elliot and reverse that ish. This might involve simple fantasy, or changing the angle of the toy you’re using, or turning your body around if you have a toy wedged safely in a mount. If it works, work it.

Leaning Rider

Imagine there’s a partner under you, and lean forward, resting some of your weight on your hands. This pose is great for extra clit stimulation. You may find that backing onto it feels good too.

Grounded Rider

Plant your feet on the ground with your knees bent and stimulate yourself with new control: back, forth, up down, as you desire. Ground control for major adventure.

Grinding Rider

Instead of bouncing up and down, try a slow grind. Spread your legs extra wide to get more friction across your entire vulva. You might be surprised what kinda uncharted territory you come across.

Other tips and tricks:

- Explore and fondle and pinch and stroke and caress your various erogenous zones while you ride.

- Let yourself get carried away with a fantasy that arouses you. Close your eyes and imagine you’re being watched, or that you’re riding a certain someone, or whatever it is that gets you going.

- Explore both with and without toys to see what types of sensations you like best and which you might like to combine for max effect.

- Wear a butt plug at the same time for an added stimulus package, nam sayin’?

There is no right or wrong way to explore Solo Cowgirl. It will differ for everyone, so feeling good and being creative is the way to go. Just trying out new and different sex positions on your own will bring you that much closer to understanding what truly drives you wild.