9 ways to get in the mood to masturbate

You heard it here first: gettin’ in the mood ain’t just for sex with a lover. Tending to your own body, stoking your own lust, and feeling all your own feels is an absolute must, whether you’re partnered or solo—or anywhere in between.

Pleasure is not a mere luxury, after all. It’s a basic necessity to our overall wellbeing. Masturbation offers countless mental and physical health benefits, and the best part is: it’s arguably the most fun anyone can have without spending a dime.

Maybe you’re aware of all of this—on an intellectual level—yet you still have trouble getting into a masturbation mindset. Fact: in our modern-day hustle bubbles, there are approximately 10 zillion ways to become distracted from our rightful, integral pleasure. In other words, to lose our sex drive. From stress and anxiety, to depression, to medication side-effects, strained relationships, vaginal health problems, and anything else under the life-giving sun, it’s hard being human.

All that being said, where there’s a will, there are most definitely ways to hack into your own resistance to the pleasure zone. Next time your head says yes but your body is hesitating (or vice versa), consider the following 9 tips to get you over and into that hump, nam sayin?

1. Tend to your erotic hygiene

This one’s not about sexual hygiene, although that’s always important as well. Erotic hygiene runs much deeper: while it may certainly include all things pertaining to your sex life, this is about getting into a sensual, pleasure-oriented mindset—one in which you’re not putting up walls that prevent you from being in the moment and in your body. One in which you’re resting and not rushing. One in which screens aren’t your only focal point. Think sensual sanctuary...the rest will come. Pun intended.

2. Consider CBD oil

While there are countless reasons to stay away from the use of substances like alcohol and even weed when exploring sexual pleasure (sober can be hot AF), CBD oil doesn't so much get you high as help you chill. One survey found that 68% of people who tried CBD said it improved their sexual experience, and others said it helped them relax or improved their mood. And if you tend to have painful sex due to an injury or health condition, there are CBD oils that can be used to lubricate, as well as to reduce inflammation and raise serotonin, helping your body choose pleasure over pain.

3. Explore your erogenous zones

As with partnered sex, sometimes rushing to get to the main event can get old fast. While you may—understandably—feel that you need a quick release and no more, sometimes getting jiggy with your whole self can move mountains. In other words, explore your erogenous zones: all those gorgeous sites located a quick remove from the chief attraction: your breasts, your hips, your thighs, your navel, your nipples. You might be surprised what hidden/dormant desires (nay, demands) your neglected parts have in store for you.

4. Try a natural aphrodisiac

Some people swear by the power of a good ol' aphrodisiac to get their juices flowing. Cinnamon, ginger, and nutmeg, for instance, are all warming herbs that increase blood flow to the abdominal and pelvic regions, increasing vaginal moisture and intensifying sexual pleasure. And then you have celery, which stimulates the pituitary gland—one of the most important glands for the release of sex hormones. Pomegranates increase testosterone (necessary to a healthy sex drive in people of all genders) and lower cortisol levels, meaning less hot mess and more hot ’n bothered.

5. Find the right toy

There has never been a more delicious array of sex toys to choose from—toys for all desires, needs, fantasies, and preferences. From vibrators of all stripes, to dildos of all sizes, anal toys, a wide selection of kink-enhancing accoutrements, sex furniture—you name it, you got it. So why not up your self-pleasure power for the win? Btw: a good vibrator can actually get you in the mood if you weren't already.

6. Land the right fantasy

Your dirty mind is your gateway to sensual heaven, if you let it be, so let it run wild ’n free, if you dare. No matter how taboo or forbidden your deepest, most potent fantasies may be, much is permitted in the realm of solo pleasure that you need not share with another unless you want to. Maybe you get off best when you imagine that a group of men is waiting in line, watching you, waiting to take turns with you. Maybe it’s a roleplay fantasy. Whatever it may be, do you right.

7. Try porn or erotica

If you’re extra visual or wordsy, try watching some ethical porn, or listening to or reading some steamy erotica to get yourself in the mood. Hell, you might even experiment with writing some of your own. You might need to, um, take a break sooner than you think to recharge those creative juices.

8. Do a DIY photo shoot

Wearing lingerie ain’t just for other people. If you own any, you may know this already. Why not get all dolled up (be it in lingerie, or anything else that makes you feel sexy)—for you and you alone. And then, just because, why not up the ante by staging a DIY boudoir photoshoot? Not only will having the photos to look at be a boon to your self-confidence, but the process itself is sure to make you feel hot and may in turn get you wet. So worth a try.

9. Embrace mindfulness

Mindful or tantric masturbation is everything. It involves slowing your pace, engaging in deep, conscious breathwork, harnessing a meditative mindset, and letting go of destination-obsessions like O-town, in favor of the multi-textured journey itself. Masturbating mindfully can give you a better understanding of your own desires, as well as enhance your overall sexual experience, both of which are likely to get you in the explorin’ mood a lot more often.

Happy Masturbation May! May you enjoy daily self-pleasure—this month and every moment of your life. <3