Love and lust with a Scorpio

Most of us need to look up at the stars in the night sky a lot more than we do, because we’re too busy watching the road or looking down at our new shoes. Simply looking up more often can offer a much-needed change of perspective—one only those bright celestial bodies can provide. By tuning into the deeper wisdom of the galaxy, we humble humans can learn a thing or ten. And in matters of lust and love, Goddess knows we could all use some guidance. Understatement, am I right? While no one is limited by the dictates of their astrological character, it never hurts to glean insight from certain cosmic patterns that have been studied since before we all were born.

Take that enigmatically edgy scorpion born under the ocean-deep sign of Scorpio, between October 23 and November 22. If you’re bedding one, and/or in a relationship with one, why not take advantage of any chance to understand more deeply what really turns them on; how to enchant them; and the best way to blow their minds?

Here I offer you a few of the most scintillatingly sensual traits belonging to your Scorpio lover:

Sexual fire…and ice

Every sign has a body part or region, and Scorpio rules the genitals. This is fitting, because Scorpios may just deserve the reputation they have for being the sexiest most masterful sign in the zodiac. Scorpio sex is on an altogether different level— because passionate intensity is totally their thing. They have relentlessly powerful libidos, are incredibly gifted sexually, and enjoy taking creative control. They are always exploring new ways of finding pleasure for themselves and for you. That said, if a Scorpio gets mad at you, they may choose to express it by withdrawing sex—as well as their affections—instead of talking about it with you. 

First off, if you’re in deep with a Scorpio, do your best to reciprocate in bed. A Scorpio partner may have an almost sixth sense about what you want and need, so do your best to tune in to theirs. They’ll likely ask you lots of intimate questions, making it their solemn duty to help you reach a mind-blowing climax. Invest the same care and attention in them, and you can't go wrong. This works best when you feel passionately, of course. When dating a Scorpio, it also helps to have strong communication skills—after all, someone has to initiate the makeup sex, right?

Experimental, all-consuming sex…if you can handle it

Known for being bonafide freaks between the sheets, Scorpios give a new meaning to openminded. Always open to experimenting and doubly open to having a transformative experience, they’ll never judge or shame you for wanting to try something weird or new, even if it’s not their thing. That said, chances are they'll have tried it already, or at least imagined it vividly. For some, a Scorpio’s sex drive can actually be overwhelming, especially if they’re so hot that foreplay is an afterthought. It can also be hard to be in a longterm relationship with someone who wants every sexual encounter to be life-changing.

Keep your Scorpio happy and sexually engaged by voicing your fantasies as they emerge—and revel in the fact that you're with someone who can take it—and even make 'em come true for you. If you’re well-suited, you two will reach new heights, I guarantee it. If they’’re pawing at you every night but you have to work early or maybe you just need a break, set aside some sexy time on the weekend when you can explore all-new realms together. You might also teach them the art of the quickie—and how fast doesn’t necessarily mean less delicious.

An all-in kinda love…but a bit obsessive

Mysterious and emotional, when a Scorpio really falls for you, nothing is off-limits for them. When a Scorpio cares, they want to know everything about you, and they want to help heal your deepest wounds—the ones you’ve never told anyone else about. Scorpios live for helping you face your ugliest inner demons. That said, if their intensity isn’t returned, they can become pretty obsessive. I heard somewhere that Scorpio is the sign most associated with demonic possessions and serial killers (Happy Halloween). It’s more likely, however, that a Scorpio will simply try to gaslight you in the event that you want to end things and they want you to stay.

When courting a Scorpio, don’t bother going the bubbly, lighthearted small talk kinda route. This will only bore them. Don’t shy away from exploring deeper issues—y’know, politics, creative endeavors, emotional labyrinths, haunted houses, etc. And, if it comes time to end things with your Scorpio, whatever you do, avoid cheating. When a Scorpio finds out a partner’s has betrayed them this way, they won’t hesitate to launch a smear campaign—be it with mutual friends or even work colleagues. Nasty stuff. So if you want to end it, keep it clean.

Ixnay on the casual sex…or the kissing and telling

Unsurprisingly, Scorpios are not casual and don't typically go for one-night stands or friends with benefits. When a Scorpio chooses you, they really choose you. As much as Scorpios adore sex, a casual, non-exclusive arrangement doesn't work for them, no matter how hard they try to get on board. Chances are they’ll get too obsessive—or you will (because they're that fucking amazing). Very much in line with their seriousness in matters of the heart and body, Scorpios are fiercely private and never kiss and tell. What’s more, they usually expect the same discretion from you.

If you’re all about polyamory or have a deep need to keep it casual, Scorpio may not work out so well for you. It’s always best to have a conversation about desires and expectations right from the start, to avoid any hurt feelings down the line. Additionally, if you’re the type that likes telling every juicy sexual detail to your inner circle, either find a way not to, or make sure they’re reliably tightlipped. Or, better yet—have a conversation with your beau about how important close friend conversations are. I get that this one’s not always simple.

Cuddly…but not always clear communicators

Scorpios are sex incarnate—we’ve already established that. That being said, they can be picky about who they let in and may not always wanna get it on, especially if they’re still getting to know you. They don't trust easily, so if they're letting you get close, chances are they 100% want to feel safe and secure and held afterwards. Whether or not they say so directly, your Scorpio wants to cuddle and whisper sweet everythings after you explode into one another.

If you’re serious about your Scorpio, don’t take their intimacy for granted. If they’re letting you past their wall of defenses, they’re super into you, but only with reciprocation will it remain a deliciously positive experience. If you’ve been unsure how to act after sex, and your Scorpion lover isn’t saying much, try cuddling them and breathing hotly in their ear. Thank me later.

Bottom line: treat your deep, dark Scorpio like the hidden treasure they are, and the rest will come. Where there’s a real bond, you’re sure to unearth profound mental, emotional, and sexual  linkages of body and mind with your Scorpio partner. Get it.

As far as compatibility goes, no one does Scorpio better than fellow water signs Cancer and Pisces, as well as earth signs Virgo and Capricorn. But no matter what your sign, remember: lusty love conquers all, so if it's worth it, feed it and it will grow. <3